How to Talk to Friends and Family About Using an Egg Donor
When using an egg donor to create or grow a family, the idea of talking about it with friends and family can be a little overwhelming for some parents-to-be. Although egg donation and other forms of third-party reproduction have become increasingly common during the past few years, it can be difficult to predict how some people may react to the idea.
It’s important to remember that you are under no obligation to share with others the exact details about your path to parenthood. The experience of building or growing a family is deeply personal, and there are many reasons why couples and individuals choose to withhold the details of their donor egg journey from loved ones.
On the flip side, there are also just as many reasons why you might want to tell your friends and family about using a donor egg. Even if this is the right choice for you, it can still feel a little scary. However, with a little bit of planning ahead, you can take control of the conversation and create boundaries.
Plan the Conversation Ahead of Time
Before you tell anyone about your choice to use a donor egg to create or grow your family, it can be helpful to make a plan of all the details about what that means. Sit down with your partner, if applicable, and decide on the who, what, when, and where of it all. Also, think about how many details you want to reveal and to whom.
For example, if you’re using an egg donor due to an infertility issue, you may only feel comfortable sharing that information with someone you are really close to, such as your mother or your best friend.
Prepare Answers to Awkward Questions
A lot of people are pretty uninformed about what using an egg donor is like. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of pervasive myths and misconceptions that people unintentionally end up using to fill in the gaps of their knowledge. This unintentional ignorance can lead to questions that are well-meaning but insensitive. While you may feel pressured to play the role of teacher, this is absolutely not your job. As such, it can be helpful to have a few polite responses ready for those questions that are far too personal or insensitive. Some ideas include:
- “It was really important for us to start a family — we’re really excited about the future.”
- “Thank you for your concern, but it’s not something I want to share at the moment.”
- “It’s been a long road, but I’m happy where I’m at now. Anyway, how are you doing?”
Whether you want to be completely open about your donor egg journey or want to keep it to yourself, your story is yours to tell and yours alone. You have the power to decide to whom and how that story gets told.
For more information about egg donation, contact Fertility Source Companies today.
